I couldn't open my eyes so I never saw anything. I think he tried to enter me but wasn't able to. I was aware that he tried to get me to touch him but I was like a dead body and my fist would not open. I felt completely paralysed but was aware at points of what was happening but powerless to do anything about it.
My hands were clenched into fists and my consciousness flashed in and out. I could not physically move or speak or even open my eyes. At some point later, I became aware that he had taken off my pyjama bottoms and had his fingers inside me. We continued chatting but I was very drunk and it was late and I leaned up against my dad's shoulder on the sofa and passed out. At one point I spilled my drink on my dress and went upstairs to get changed into my pyjamas. We had had a lot to drink and continued drinking at the house. When we got back I put my son to bed and my dad and I sat on the sofa talking as we would normally do. He took me and my son out for a meal and we had a lovely time. I was in a very dark place and he came to stay and was the father I expected him to be, extremely supportive and encourageing. I asked my dad to be there as he's always been my best friend and the person I turn to for advice and support. I had planned originally for my boyfriend to be there but he had a breakdown and just left me suddenly and I was devastated. It was my 37th birthday and asked my dad to come to a holiday home I'd rented for me and my son to have a weekend holiday going to a theme park. I had lost a stone in weight within the space of a week, was drinking heavily and crying all the time. I had a very nastly split from my boyfriend after months of mental abuse which had me at the lowest point of my life. My father has never done this before and I can't understand why this has happened now. Most are cases that started in childhood. I can't find any similar experiences to mine.